The Book Bag Wars

Back to school shopping, for a woman who hates to shop, is a nightmare. Of course I put it off as long as I can, and then dive in for a two-day assault. Day One of shop till you drop was going so well. Although my first grader was a little snitty in the shoe department, we had chosen tennis shoes and school shoes. We were the proud owners of washable markers, folders, specialty scissors and a pencil sharpener with receptacle! Then, the backpack aisle undid me. She ran, literally, to the character bag section, yanking one and then another from their hangers. Jonas Brothers. Wizards of Waverly. Hannah Montana. High School Musical. Her bright blue over-marketed eyes lit up. She was not too happy when I shot them all down.

I just don’t understand the point of wearing someone else’s picture or name on your clothes or bags. The marketers have done a very fine job, of course, in getting my daughter to covet these products. What used to be Dora and Princesses is now a long list of tweener singing groups or shows. And she is smitten. Even for a girl whose screen time is monitered and whose Mother thinks you should be a lot closer to high school to watch “High School Musical”, she certainly knows a lot about the shows. What she doesn’t understand yet though are all the adult themes, the sarcasm, the insidious behaviors and flippant attitudes of these characters she wants to befriend. And that is not even to mention what the actors are doing in real life!

When I was in school the only name you wore on your clothes was your own. In the form of monogramming usually. I still have the blue cableknit sweater with monogrammed initials that my Dad bought me when I was twelve. And I still wear it sometimes, although the initials are no longer correct. It reminds me of who I was and who I am today. And that is my worry with all of the marketing. My daughter’s individuality, her turns of phrase, her toothless grins, the way she treats her brothers with a hug and a smile, is getting lost. Get a group of first graders together, and they immediately gravitate towards their idol characters. I would rather my daughter strive to be herself, then busy herself trying to emulate a star who makes too much money to make good choices. Or realistic ones.

According to my daughter, I am the ONLY Mom who doesn’t like Hannah Montana. Lucky her. Silly me for not wanting my daughter to watch a show whose role model star is pole dancing at awards shows and kissing co-stars. My daughter is SIX, and although she claims she is outgrowing princesses, I certainly don’t think she is ready for the adult themes of these shows and their stars. I understand that these shows can be learning tools, but when she is watching television, I am usually washing dishes or making dinner and am not around to explain things and answer questions. I refuse to trust my daughter’s moral compass to Miley Cyrus.

So no character book bags for first grade in this house. We compromised on a brown bag with girly geometric shapes. Fits in well with the new butterfly school shoes and sparkly tennies. And works well for a little girl searching for her style and her place in the world. It is harder than I thought to steer my daughter away from the oceans of advertisements and expectations. But little does she know that I am a very strong advocate of paddling upstream, and I have the monogrammed sweater to prove it!