Monday, January 30, 2012

Ninja Runner

I am sure everyone has been waiting with baited (or would that be bated?) breath to find out my diagnosis from the physical therapist this morning. I was pretty anxious myself, and the irony of getting hurt just as I started training for the BIG RACE is still frustrating.

But the appointment was good. Stephen was very patient and informative and I am seeing the silver lining that this is a time to learn to do things the right way and to strengthen and stretch my body as it deserves. Apparently I do not have an injury, break, dislocation or other malady that will keep me from running. My issue is mechanical, and with time and information I should be able to rehab to run long again. (I am doing my best to forget the running log and the 5 miler I SHOULD have been doing today for marathon training, but I did manage a strong one mile run with no pain and some strength work today.) And of course, in the office, my knee did not even hurt in all the tests he ran.

As I was reading my son his bedtime story tonight, The Official Guide of Ninjago, Master of Spinjitzu, I realized that I could use the rules of ninjas to guide me through the next few months as a runner.

1. Comfort is a thing of the past. Well, yes. Not only will I feel this twinge for the foreseeable future, if I do my workouts the RIGHT way I will be burning and gasping (in a good way, right?). And if I rehab to the point of being able to do 26.2, then comfort will truly leave me.

2. To rush is to fail. I am fighting the urge to do too much too soon. My one-mile run felt good today and I wanted to continue. I can’t wait to try again tomorrow and see how my knee responds. But I think that taking it easy will be better in the long run. My physical therapist and my muscles think so too.

3. Moderation in all things. This is a no-brainer. I always battle taking things to the extreme: whether Girl Scout cookie eating or logging miles or planning the perfect activity with my kids. If I slow down (see rule 2) and relax, I can build a strong base for the future, through moderation.

4. Calm before the storm. I cannot let my emotions rule me. I still feel disappointed. At age 40 I have spent the past two years changing my life. The marathon was the final hurdle. And now this. But I will make my choices and work out without emotion ruling. Que sera sera.

5. Discipline. Ninjas must be organized, respectful and industrious in all things. As the mother of three and a teacher, I must organize my time even more carefully to do extra stretching and prepare myself for smaller goals leading to my ultimate marathon goal. And I have to have the discipline to understand that my goal might need to change, based on the needs of my body.


So ninja, it is! New Asics kicks instead of ninja-wear, but the same commitment to the journey and the bravery to keep out the dark forces (in this case doubt, disappointment and further injury.) Following the five rules should prepare me for whatever comes my way!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

A Bump in the Road

Oh no! This is my worst fear as a runner. And it is happening in week two of marathon training. I am so disheartened and resisting the constant urge to cry: something is wrong with my knee.

I have been working out 4 or 5 times a week steadily for the last several months. I varied my routine with swimming, elliptical, bike, boot camp, short and long runs, slowly and for speed. I was doing everything right, or so I thought.

And then it happened. The last four runs or so, it feels like my knee is going to burn up and explode right off my body. Nothing specific happened, no twist or injury that I can recall. And I am an optimist: when I first felt the twinge I figured if I just kept moving the pain would go away. That did not happen. I have been trying to ignore this and refusing to admit it to myself. I have an injury that must be attended.

I can run through the pain (apparently I am stronger than I thought….or maybe just stupider.) But when I did my seven miles Sunday and couldn’t walk up the stairs to the bedroom later, I figured I needed to do something.

I am waiting on a physical therapist appointment and working on my upper body and trying to not get depressed. In an ironic twist, I also have a head full of a terrible cold, so I don’t really feel like jumping in the pool.

Although I usually specialize in teaching grammar and writing, I am thinking this is my IT band. Any thoughts or ideas would be gratefully appreciated.

As Langston Hughes said, “What happens to a dream deferred?” I’m not too excited by the answer.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Runner: Noun (from the Old English) meaning "strong" and "flow"

Bill the salesman is a quality guy. I know this because I am standing in his specialty store for runners, Second Sole, and HE is obviously a runner, and I am obviously NOT a runner, am I am trying to choke out the words “I am a runner” and he is not even poking fun. I don’t understand why this is so hard for me. I know what the dictionary says about being A RUNNER. A runner is a person who runs. And I do that. I really do. I have run two half-marathons in the past year and countless three milers and six milers and a good baker’s dozen of ten milers throughout the past few months. I have run in the woods and the rain and in the heat and on a treadmill and on the sand and by myself and in a crowd or with only an early-morning deer or skunk for company. But still I choke on this sentence.

But now it is time to grow up and show up, and officially become what I already am: a runner. So I am standing in front of Bill who is holding back a smile while I stammer and stutter and tell him I need new running shoes. Maybe THIS is the rub. Running is the sport that requires the LEAST equipment and I haven’t been doing even that much right.

My first pair of shoes when I started this new trend in my life two years ago was an eighteen dollar Target pair that was on sale for nine bucks. They served me well, those no name shoes, and helped me to fall in love with the sport. And I even ran my first 13.1 in them. I stepped on a nail when I was eight miles in, and finished the last five with a nail protruding from the bottom corner. Stubborn girl, this one. (I knew that if I stopped to pull it out I would never start back up again!)

I advanced a bit in the last year to the Asic’s gel shoes I found at Kohl’s with my thirty percent off coupon. They’ve gotten me through a lot of early morning miles and trips through the paved woods path near my home. They have gone the distance, (pun intended) but since I have been keeping up with this new sport that I love to hate, I know it is time to buy some big girl kicks.

So here I am, my stomach in a knot, my pulse racing, and sweet William is nodding his head and smiling. Bill examines my feet, takes a look at my stance and stride, and measures my foot size by sight. (This amazes me and makes me feel like I am in the right place, although this is actually his JOB, so why am I so surprised?)

He brings out five pairs and I love them all. (Smart man, this Bill.) I am sure the other customers enjoy my wind sprint trials through the apparel section, but I finally narrow it down to two: the Asics 21700 STORM with purple laces and the Adidas Supernova Sequence Y. I love them both. As I always have trouble making decisions, and they are both the same price, I close my eyes at the checkout and have Bill ring up whichever he chooses.

I walk out with the Asics (I think they are a bit more comfortable anyway, though you'll have to ask me after a 15 mile training run in a few weeks), a few of Bill’s suggestions for IT band stretches (the sore knee a major reason I went there in the first place), and a smile. And maybe, just maybe, there is a little swagger in my step and a bit of confidence in myself as a runner.

When my 350 miles are up and I go back for more, there is no doubt. I’m buying the bright orange Adidas. Now THAT will make my career as a runner official!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Eyes on the Prize

Cleveland in January 2012 is a runner’s paradise. I had been beginning to question my sanity at settling on the late May Cleveland Marathon (although my original thought process was that in the summer I could then TOTALLY relax after teaching and training for 26.2 for months. Oh, and train for a triathlon. But that's a story for a different day.) I was starting to picture miles and miles on the treadmill with nothing to entertain me except the YMCA television set to the weather channel. Really, how much of the same revolving radar can one girl stand? But THIS kind of January is perfect for me.

Running outside is my thing. I am a nature girl to start with, having been the one to cut the grass and plant the gardens from a very tender age. I just love the fresh air and sunshine and even the bleak foreboding skies that signal storms. My very first run was on a dark and stormy night, in fact. I just always seem to hit my groove faster in the great outdoors.

No matter what time of year, though, it is not easy for me to train. As a teacher and mother I have offered up the time after school to the grading gods and since the fairies have yet to make it to my house, I am also in charge of dinner and homework and general mayhem control at home after school. Therefore, I covet the morning for training time.

I have a love/hate relationship with an alarm that rings at 4:30 in the morning. I can’t stand getting out of the warm cocoon but I am amazed by the power a quick morning run gives me. It sometimes ends up being the only thing I accomplish in a day, but it is a biggie.

And to run the last few early mornings outside is a rare January treat. I am saving the big guns for the Hal Higdon “18 Weeks to Glory” program I will begin next week. (Oh boy, I hope I counted right.) But there is something truly magical about running in the moonlit darkness, dodging the leaping deer and scuttling ground hogs and slow-moving paper man that I inevitably find in my morning run.

I am an optimist and thinking hard about how long I can milk this good weather. On a sunny day with temperatures almost near 50, even the 5 a.m. run feels pretty good. I could use a whole winter of this. Because when my days start off with some purposeful exercise, I have enough energy to grab my running shoes AFTER work too and race my sons around the cul-de-sac. The seven year old skunked me in the race, but the golden orange sky of the setting sun was an amazing prize.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Short List for 2012

1. Re-lose the fifteen pounds I have gained and lose four more.
2. Towpath Trilogy, Cleveland Marathon, triathlon.
3. More Scooby Doo Trouble, painting, piano duets, active listening, flashcards, and fun with my kids.
4. Date night and DTL with my husband.
5. Get paid to write.
6. Eat like a marathoner.
7. Leave it all on the field. Stop holding back.
8. Turn off the Facebook.
9. Clean and organize the house. Always.
10. Spend face time with friends.

A Game of Moments

The pork has been devoured, and the saukerkraut put away. The children are nestled early in bed. This happens when four year olds stay up till midnight to watch Lady Gaga drop the ball. Try explaining THAT one. And now for the resolving, the goal setting, the looking back over the previous year.

It seems that I did not make ANY resolutions at the beginning of 2011. Or at least I didn’t write them down! Not that I didn’t do new things or work hard, but I just didn’t seem to plan these things at the turn of last year. I savored some victories through the past months, and dragged my feet in defeat a few times too. But I don’t really want to dwell there.

The new year is here, and I am ready to roll. I even get an extra day to make the magic happen this year!! The first things that come to mind are easy: the physical ones. They seem easy because I have already planned them and plunked down the cash. (Cash is a big motivator.) The big game is the MARATHON. Yes, you read that correctly. Twenty-six point two miles. The date is May 20th, and I am already training. Part of my training is participating in the Towpath Trilogy, three races that span 2012 and the beautiful Towpath trails of Greater Cleveland. The first half-marathon is April 1 (a day for fools, of course.) Also, my pal Patrick is getting me hooked into a triathlon sometime in August when the lake heats up. In between these big ticket days I anticipate a lot of running at the crack of dawn, a few 5K’s and smaller races, and some fatigue. (By some I mean A LOT.) For someone who just started running a year and a half ago, I still marvel that these are my goals. Although these are physical goals, I already know that they are changing my heart. I never dreamed this was possible, and now I constantly wonder what ELSE I thought I could not do.

Along with the physical training, I resolve to take control. I am the kind of person who can look up marathon training tips while eating an entire plate of cookies. That needs to stop. As Pat and I say, “What would a marathoner eat?” I am thinking it is not an entire bag of Funyons or a whole box of Malley’s chocolates. (I am so quick like that!) I would like to think about food as fuel instead of reward, to make the machine of my body work well with the right fuel. If I pull this off, it should result in a few more pounds lost, and a few more muscles gained. Pretty integral for my fortieth year.

The other resolutions are seemingly harder, and more important. They involve my children and my friends and my attitude. I would like to be more hands on with my kids. More games of Scooby Doo Trouble, more piano duets with my daughter, more saying yes to painting, and ship-building and CREATIONS. This will involve more living in the moment and being present. They grow up too fast and I want to hang on to these moments, and to truly live them. I can worry about the dishes after bedtime. I’d like to write more letters to my friends and drink coffee with them on purpose and meet for dinner. Real relationships and moments savored can take the place of too much dawdling on the computer or worrying about tomorrow.

I’d like to stop saving my energy for later. I seem to always hold back because of what I might need to do in the future, with my friends or my housework or my school work. What if I get too tired? Well, what if I do? I resolve to live more full throttle and nap LATER. More doing what matters and living each minute.

The list is already too long. There is more in my heart and my head. But this is a good start. What if I just live each moment with gratitude and purpose? I’ve learned a lot this year about my self and my story. I know how blessed I am and I want to prove that in the way I live each day. I get to do this. And I am so very thankful for all that I have.