Sunday, January 1, 2012

A Game of Moments

The pork has been devoured, and the saukerkraut put away. The children are nestled early in bed. This happens when four year olds stay up till midnight to watch Lady Gaga drop the ball. Try explaining THAT one. And now for the resolving, the goal setting, the looking back over the previous year.

It seems that I did not make ANY resolutions at the beginning of 2011. Or at least I didn’t write them down! Not that I didn’t do new things or work hard, but I just didn’t seem to plan these things at the turn of last year. I savored some victories through the past months, and dragged my feet in defeat a few times too. But I don’t really want to dwell there.

The new year is here, and I am ready to roll. I even get an extra day to make the magic happen this year!! The first things that come to mind are easy: the physical ones. They seem easy because I have already planned them and plunked down the cash. (Cash is a big motivator.) The big game is the MARATHON. Yes, you read that correctly. Twenty-six point two miles. The date is May 20th, and I am already training. Part of my training is participating in the Towpath Trilogy, three races that span 2012 and the beautiful Towpath trails of Greater Cleveland. The first half-marathon is April 1 (a day for fools, of course.) Also, my pal Patrick is getting me hooked into a triathlon sometime in August when the lake heats up. In between these big ticket days I anticipate a lot of running at the crack of dawn, a few 5K’s and smaller races, and some fatigue. (By some I mean A LOT.) For someone who just started running a year and a half ago, I still marvel that these are my goals. Although these are physical goals, I already know that they are changing my heart. I never dreamed this was possible, and now I constantly wonder what ELSE I thought I could not do.

Along with the physical training, I resolve to take control. I am the kind of person who can look up marathon training tips while eating an entire plate of cookies. That needs to stop. As Pat and I say, “What would a marathoner eat?” I am thinking it is not an entire bag of Funyons or a whole box of Malley’s chocolates. (I am so quick like that!) I would like to think about food as fuel instead of reward, to make the machine of my body work well with the right fuel. If I pull this off, it should result in a few more pounds lost, and a few more muscles gained. Pretty integral for my fortieth year.

The other resolutions are seemingly harder, and more important. They involve my children and my friends and my attitude. I would like to be more hands on with my kids. More games of Scooby Doo Trouble, more piano duets with my daughter, more saying yes to painting, and ship-building and CREATIONS. This will involve more living in the moment and being present. They grow up too fast and I want to hang on to these moments, and to truly live them. I can worry about the dishes after bedtime. I’d like to write more letters to my friends and drink coffee with them on purpose and meet for dinner. Real relationships and moments savored can take the place of too much dawdling on the computer or worrying about tomorrow.

I’d like to stop saving my energy for later. I seem to always hold back because of what I might need to do in the future, with my friends or my housework or my school work. What if I get too tired? Well, what if I do? I resolve to live more full throttle and nap LATER. More doing what matters and living each minute.

The list is already too long. There is more in my heart and my head. But this is a good start. What if I just live each moment with gratitude and purpose? I’ve learned a lot this year about my self and my story. I know how blessed I am and I want to prove that in the way I live each day. I get to do this. And I am so very thankful for all that I have.