Kids and their sports have been spinning out of control. And
like the three little bears, some sports brackets are TOO intense, while other
athletes are being rewarded heroically for nothing. It’s a phenomenon I have
watched with growing unease, and I’m left wondering where the “just right” of
my sporting childhood could have possibly gone.
As I always say, no child of mine will ever go to the
Olympics in any sport. Speed, height and
agility notwithstanding, I just don’t have it in me as a mother. Sports and
kids have become a full time business, and I am not that kind of entrepreneur.
It seems that each sport comes with multiple teams
throughout the year, eclipsing other sports seasons so that a kid ends up with
no choice but to specialize at a young age. Or worse: play a few full-intensity
sports at once!
Not that I don’t love my 2006 Honda, but I just have no
desire to spend that much time in the car, schlepping mini athletes hither and
yon. Plus, Marty recently broke a second cup holder, which caused his sister to
demand an entirely new vehicle. No way would I run a sports practice car-pool
in a brand-new vehicle!
I joke that I’m lazy, and that my kids are a bit
uncoordinated. (Heck, I even have a kid who decries sports entirely, although he
does admit he would be willing to take up fencing, with a little pole vaulting
on the side!) I might feel differently if my children showed some stellar skill
from an early age, or if there was some sort of legacy I was pushing for them
to uphold.
Beyond these reasons, I just refuse to let the almighty
sports machine take control of my family. I don’t mind extra time at home to
play Monopoly, (if you define playing as a few passes around GO for each
player, until all heck breaks loose and the top hat goes flying.) But without a
ton of practices and games, we have time to sing, (loudly), dance in the
picture window (which embarrasses them--a true bonus) and play Spot-It, (which I always, always lose.)
There is a flip side
to the high-intensity sports that I find just as disconcerting: the model where
everybody just gets a trophy for showing up.
Call it a trophy for breathing. Kids know what’s going on. Take me for
instance. You don’t think that life-sized second place trophy I won for baton
when I was seven was ridiculous? There were only TWO people in the entire
competition! I can still remember being appalled, even at such a young age.
Kids know the score. They understand who is good and who
deserves the trophy. Life is not fair, and I’m okay with my little guys
learning that in increments along the way, instead of just being sheltered from
every imperfect moment. (My opinions on snacks and drinks for halftime are
equally vigorous. Really, they can last an hour without caloric intake.)
I believe in seasonal sports, that hard work should be
applauded, and kids should also have time for free play and fun at home . I believe
there are winners and losers, and that teamwork is an essential skill built on sports teams. And at
the end of the day, I appreciate teams that don’t steal my family life
or patronize my children. I am certain that there is, like Goldilocks thought, a "just right" that can be achieved in this realm through a combination of parental restraint and refocusing goals..
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